This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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