Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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