Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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