btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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