I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
