ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
