Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
