did you get engaged???
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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