i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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