May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
