she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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