Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
