Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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