Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
