Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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