Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
