Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
