I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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