He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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