Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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