remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
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