Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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