Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize