Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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