Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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