i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
