Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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