Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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