My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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