Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
