And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
