i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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