just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
