It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize