Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize