Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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