We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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