Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize