I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
