This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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