if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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