i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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