so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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