her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
