Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
