the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
