I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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