my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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