he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
