I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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