Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
