I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
wow bdsm is so cute
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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