just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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