good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
