I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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