I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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