In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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