i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
