she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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