You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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